What is it with girls and feeling the need to hate one another?

I mean can’t we all just get along and act like one big happy family? The army of ovaries and estrogen should have each other’s backs and defeat the testosterone filled enemies. We have even more of a reason to be sticking closer to one another, because of the sudden rise in gender inequality… We should unite!

But no. Girls still feel the need to compete with and manipulate one another.

Why the unexpected interest in girl politics? I hear you ask. It’s a long story, but I guess I have nothing better to do than to tell you…

The drama gang was a very united family. We had our tragedies but like all families, we resolved them with words and discussions. When I had decided to join the drama family, there were three girls that pretty much stuck to each other like glue; Sarah, Tabitha and Ella. They had openly accepted me into their group and although I never felt as close to them as they were to one another, I still felt a sense of belonging.

Like all human beings, they had their good traits and their bad traits. Sarah was very understanding and extremely compassionate, both good and bad traits. Good because she was the reliable friend that was always lending a shoulder to cry on, but bad because many took advantage of her compassion and she ended up hurt. Tabitha was friendly, empathetic, and never let anyone stomp on her or bring her down. Ella was hilarious, kind hearted and sweet. She was the kind of friend that would let you bitch to her pretty much about everything and anything. I was always closer to Ella because I’d known her for longer. But she had a temper that hit way higher than the roof and it got there very easily. When Ella gets upset you have to grab your suitcases and run, because she’s serious stuff.


These three girls were happy and content…… Until Ella got a boyfriend named Joseph.

I had known Joseph for a while (we were in the same home group). He was the quiet Asian kid who had excellent taste in music but not such a great taste in women. He had a shady past of dating psychos.

Ella would bring Joseph into the drama rooms to sit with the girls and so she could spend time with him. I thought this was a great idea, because it would allow us to get to know Joseph a little better, but boy was I wrong. Joseph began acting in a very strange way; he started purposely annoying Ella and spending more time with Tabitha. I thought nothing of this at the time, because Tabitha was a friendly person.

This brings us to December- February. Ella and Joseph had started to hit the rocky stage of their relationship. Both were venting about their relationship to the wrong people; Joseph to Tabitha and Ella to me. I say ‘the wrong people’ because they should’ve discussed their problems with one another. Joseph began Facebook messaging Tabitha at late hours of the night and complementing her in front of Ella. Suspicions were formed and years of faithfulness and friendships were simply tossed away. Joseph and Ella broke up because Ella thought the unthinkable,

Ella thought Joseph and Tabitha had mutual feelings for one another.

And that is where the girl politics began.

Two sides were formed – Team Ella and Team Tabitha. Anyone caught speaking to Tabitha would instantly appear on Ella’s death list. Tabitha tried as hard as possible to not do the same, but it ended up happening anyways; people were told a bias story, which always lead to individuals picking sides.

Ella would vent her hatred of Tabitha to me and Tabitha would mention bits of her hatred of Ella to me.

I was stuck in the middle.

I had always thought of myself as a neutral party. I didn’t like taking sides, especially if two of my closest friends were involved. But like all people, I was influenced by stories and ended up sticking to Ella. I said and did some very nasty things to Tabitha and Sarah. Things I regret to this day and there was a period of time that I didn’t speak to Tabitha or Sarah. I only stuck to Ella.

A few months passed and I began talking to Tabitha and Sarah. I apologized for things I might have said or done and things were peachy again. Or so I thought.

I found myself being manipulated by an entire group of people, not just one.

Tabitha and Sarah had adopted Joseph into their small group and Joseph had told me his side of the story, showed me Facebook conversations between Ella and himself and made her seem like such a bad girl.

I decided that I would pick one side, and one side for good. I did not like being fed negativity from both ends of the spectrum so I stuck to Tabitha and Sarah. Ella and I didn’t speak for months, Tabitha and Sarah seemed to give me a friendship guarantee in exchange for my fidelity. I was finally accepted into a group that I thought were sincere, non-judgmental and kind.

Time passed, I matured up and began to stop relying on social networking and internet access to be the base of my friendships. I would only check Facebook or Tumblr once every few days, thinking that If my ‘friends’ wanted to invite me somewhere they would call or text me. I was once again, WRONG.

MY ‘friends’ had started to make plans on Facebook and did not bother inviting or even mentioning the plans to me. I got extremely frustrated and was hurt. If I was so ‘important’ to them, they would’ve gone out of their way to invite me, like any good friend would. I started to feel like I was a ‘tool’ to them. They had used me for one soul purpose: to hurt Ella. As if to say, “You lost the battle Ella, we got Daniella, your best friend”. Once my purpose was fulfilled I was worthless and just another girl.

I quit Facebook for a while and took some time to think about what is best for me. I ended up deciding that I wanted to be friends with Ella again because our friendship was almost flawless while it lasted. I felt embarrassed when I apologized to her, because I had no reason to be upset or angry at her. The fight wasn’t initially between her and I, so I didn’t need to get involved; but Ella accepted my apology and we became friends again.

Nonetheless, when I popped back onto Facebook and accepted Ella’s friend request, Tabitha and the rest of my ‘friends’ had begun to ignore me. I would see them online and none of them even bothered to ask me if I was okay or what had happened to me while I was gone. Sarah was the only one that messaged me and was genuinely concerned for me; I told her that Ella and I were friends again and she was accepting of it. She actually didn’t care or hate me for it. It was obvious that they had all excluded me because I rekindled my friendship with Ella

This is where I reach my final point: Why let rivalries ruin friendships?

Why feel the need to stab, exclude and hate an individual for being friends with someone you don’t like? We aren’t children anymore, most of us are eighteen. I think it’s about time that we all matured up and fixed things the way adults do. We all live individual lives. We shouldn’t let ourselves be influenced by others; Life is too short to be loved by everyone because we follow the crowd; because we hate whoever everyone else hates. Be friends with whoever you want to be friends with. Screw what everyone else thinks of you, if they make you feel good, befriend them. Be the independent party, don’t let anyone rain on your parade. If they’re true friends they won’t judge you based on your friendships, heck, they shouldn’t be judging you at all. Do what makes you happy.




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